Friday, April 18, 2008

Unconventional Vagabonds

Those wandering the earth in search of meaning or a greater purpose in life are not limited to the world of reality or practicality. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I present to you... some of the more unconventional vagabonds of our day.

1. Vampires



"...Where are you from?"

"Around. Everywhere."

"I never been anywhere myself. Always wanted to see the world, but..."

"I could show you."

"Could you, then?"

"Things you've never seen, never even heard of."

"Sounds exciting."

"It is. And frightening."

"I'm not afraid. Show me. Show me your world."

Precisely. Not afraid to drop everything and live (or die and kill) for the moment.

Pros
- unlimited lifetimes to explore, dream, discover
- little requirements in the way of money or possessions
- easy to ditch annoying traveling partners ("I'll see you in a few hundred years")

Cons
- nightly excursions only
- constantly running from the law
- that strange taste of iron in the back of the throat


2. Porn Stars

Image not available... best try Google and you might find one or two pages

Indeed. Flexible schedule, sharing intimate experiences with exotic locals, and sharing the American experience of getting a pizza delivered with those around the world. Freelance living in its highest and dirtiest form.


3. The Flash



Batman is limited to Gotham, Superman goes where he's needed, but the Flash takes the time to look over the oceans of the world as he runs across them, and sample the local specialities (high-speed metabolism, if I recall correctly). Can't say much for him spending daylight hours in a lab, though.


4. Read, then judge:

"What if I told you 'insane' was working fifty hours a week in some office for fifty years at the end of which they tell you to piss off; ending up in some retirement village hoping to die before suffering the indignity of trying to make it to the toilet on time? Wouldn't you consider that to be insane?"

What kind of people think this way? It's like something straight out of Rolf Potts' mouth, and many vagabonds take that to heart. Unfortunately, these words are nothing less than those of Steve Buscemi's character in Con Air.

Which brings us to the last type of unconventional wanderer: Serial Killer.




What have we learned?

"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy."

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